Viaje

in a little while dev, C and me are goin on a walk to the lookout point. i havent been there in over a year and i dont really know how to get there, but hopefully C remembers. she was the one who took me there in the first place. I don't think it will be such a spectacular sight like it is in the autumn because now there are no pretty colors to look at, but when there's nothing to do, it seems like a good idea. we were supposed to go there on tuesday, but that didnt happen the way we wanted it to because i had to get tor from work, but because it's still morning, we have time. Dev suggested that we go to Shades but since i've never been there, i dont want my first time there to be in the daylight, so maybe we will go tonight... idk, we'll have to convince C that it's a good idea. otherwise i might not ever go- well not at least for a while as in a few months or so. maybe if i come home on a weekend i'll get a chance to go with someone (a few people have offered to take me, although jon is working nights now so he prolly wont be able to take me so either dev or mike). coming home on weekends, though, is something i'm supposed to be avoiding so that i can get used to being on my own, otherwise i'll never make it at college- i was supposed to try last semester but i couldnt bring myself to do it. then at xmas, my oldest cousin Nikki convinced me that its in my best interest to try to stay at school for weekends and be away from home. you know, before i went away to college i figured that i would hardly ever come home but now that it's come down to it, i've stayed at school for a grand total of 3 or 4 weekends out the whole first semester. i just get so damn homesick. it's because im such a recluse at school. i hide in my room all fucking day hoping someone will come discover me and pull me out of my dread, but it hardly ever happens. i have to be the one to get out instead, somehow. i just need something to do when i leave my hole in the wall.