renew the roller coster

It's really funny how fast my mood can swing. I was in such a good mood the last entry and less than an hour later I was feeling really really down again. I felt shitty the next day so I decided it was time to revamp my lifestyle. All over again. yeah, I said it was time to get my ass in gear, but this time I'm actuall doing it. Unfortunately, I am doing it so hard core that I've had a migraine for the last 24 hours, or more like one that hid on me for the morning hours and then snuck back up on me during class. Oh yeah, my history exam was moved, much to my immediate relief when I found out on Monday. But anyhow, I am taking charge of my life again. I am revitalized since I went for a walk in the thunderstorm tonight. I felt connected to nature for a little while and I felt healed. Unfortunately, the health of my head only lasted for an hour after that. I should have gone right to bed to avoid anymore pain, but its too late for that now. But, I'm not complaining. It'll pass and life goes on whether or not it passes, so I must get on with it.


In other news, I had this idea for a fundraiser for the Kirkpatrick Choir using my Mary Kay business and I had a meeting with the officers of the choir about it this morning. They seemed to like my idea. Hopefully Dr. Gardner will like it too. Otherwise, I fear that this trip to DC is going to cost waaaaay too much. not that I know what it costs to begin with, but I can't imagine it being cheap. Well, I won't hold my breath, but I will cross my fingers.

ah the weekend

There's nothing like a weekend alone with my boyfriend to put my life back into perspective. I mean i live for the weekends like the days inbetween are less real, like a semi-depressive dream, and when I wake up on Saturday mornings to see him sleeping next to me, everything is better. Everything makes sense and has purpose. Even though there are things I have been freaking out about because I've been neglecting them, I realize that it's not all that bad and I can still catch up, I can still succeed. He inspires me. Whenever I lose my way, he helps me get back on track before I really screw anything up. I've never had anyone who understands me they way he does; who treats me exactly the way I've always wanted to be treated without ever having to ask me; who can take every complaint I have without getting frustrated and comfort me in such a way that I don't feel like I have anything to complain about anymore. I'm not going to worry anymore about things that already have passed like that exam I took on Friday, what's done is done and all I can do is try to make the future better. That's why I'm not going to be lazy with the next couple of days and I will actually read my music history book and I will study for that exam and I will do well on it on Wednesday. I will. From now on I will take my former attitude about the importance of my studies. No more fucking with my future.