Today be Christmas

Eve. So that means lots of visiting family. Christmas has lost the magic it once had. I can remember being so freaking excited about going to Babcia's house for Vilia when I was younger, but the last few years, it's not been something I look forward to. I don't even look forward to opening presents. I pretty much know what I am getting. When you get older, people no longer want to guess what kinds of things you like or want so they ask you and then they get you exactly that. Which I suppose is not a bad thing, but I like surprises so much more. Not only that, I wasn't too imaginative this year about that I want... I want a new wardrobe, but people can't just buy me clothes, I need to be there to try stuff on because otherwise it may not fit or look good or whatnot, so that means I get a gift card to somewhere. Not that I don't like that, but it takes the fun out of opening up a gift. The other thing about Christmas is that I have a million places to be. When I was little, I went to Vilia at Babcia's house then Dad came and picked me and my sisters up and we went to my Aunt's house. Christmas morning was spent at Mommy's and that was that. Now, Christmas Eve is at Babcia's house and then we go to midnight mass. Christmas morning is at Mommy's but then I have three other places to be: my older sister's house, my boyfriend's family, then my Dad's. or in some order like that. And everyone wants their party at the same damn time too, so it's rather hard to be places for a decent amount of time before you need to go somewhere else. It almost makes me seem rude that I am somewhere for maybe an hour, then leaving, being somewhere else for a while, then leaving and going somewhere else for just a little while too. Everyone gets the short end of the stick. Or, if I decide to spend a good amount of time at any one of those places, then the other two places, I am there after a lot of people are gone... unfair. There is no good way to do this. I think that this is what has taken the magic out of Christmas for me... the expectations of others and the need to fulfill those expectations lest hurt someone's feelings. And I get to feel bad no matter how I choose to do this because no matter what I am slighting someone. :(


I hope everyone else's Christmas is better.

Merry Christmas everyone!

End of the Year

So it's December now, and that means finals time!!! I don't mean to sound excited, I'm not excited about finals, but I am excited about the month off from school that follows that. :) happy happy happy for no school!!! Hopefully, i can get a job of some kind though, i need money desperately. Christmas is going to clean me out.
anyways, so my therapy is going well... I love learning new things about myself, not that it directly makes things better, but it does open doors to things getting better. and thats a very good thing.

In order of things new, I have joined google's ad thingy, so if you see new stuff on the page, like the search bar at the bottom of the page and the ad at the top, that's why. I promise I'm not trying to drag anyone into anything by having these things on my page. like those too-good-to-be-true "win a free vacation" things- not on my page, i won't let it, cause I've fallen into too many traps that way, if anyone finds those kinds of things, please let me know and I will make sure I remove any such ads. and if joining this ad thingy does me any good, i'll let you guys know so you can do it too, if you like.